This week has been unexplainable

First, I cleared a few more tests like English essay writing and Biology test. I feel like I could score more for the Biology test. I don’t know why but i am lacking motivation to study this semester.

The English essay was okay-ish to me. I chose to write a descriptive essay because I found the question to be easy. I did not want to put my grades on the line by doing an argumentative, which is what I would normally attempt.

The question was to describe qualities that make an ideal parent. So, I explained that every person has different opinions but according to me loving your child, being firm and just with your child when needed to and bringing up your child to be a religious person makes an ideal parent. I was hesitant at first whether I should bring religion into the question but the more I thought about it, the more certain I became of my decision. In the end, I just decided that I was doing the right thing.

It was also BCR this week, which is like online learning from home day. It was my first BCR. For Math all I had to do was read through a set of instructions and then just do a quiz. For Biology, I actually had to view online lectures on YouTube and then do an activity in which an egg was put into a container of water and it was shaked vigorously. At the end of the activity, we were to see whether the egg broke or not and why. As for my experiment, the egg did not break. I think this is so because the water acted as a shock absorber. The next day, I received an email from my advisor thanking the whole class for our participation in BCR.

On Friday, I had my last soccer class. And as it rained the night before, the field was muddy. We had no choice but to carry on playing. A lot of us got dunked in the mud while playing and we spent a good half hour after class cleaning up. And as a result, all of us were late for the next class. However, the mud affected our ability to play well and in the end, we scored 2-2. It was a tie.

Hooray! This score was better than last week when no team scored a thing.

The future is unknown

Life is full of ups and downs

“Maybe I’m going deaf” – Lyrics from Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke

I have been attached to my earpiece this whole week because RED camp is going on in school. The objective of this camp is to get all those who just finished their national exams to come and get a feel of what our school is like and then possibly enrol here once they get their results.

So, what happened is that the drumming people (?) are doing continuous drumming over the 3 days of the camp right behind my classroom block. It is so annoying that after the tutor has finished teaching and it is time for class work. I grab my earpiece plug it into my phone and start listening to whatever songs just to get over from the drumming. And when I walk past the drumming people to grab my lunch, I either walk really fast/run or cover my ears so that they get the impression of what inconvenience they are causing to others. It is not working because obviously they have to do this demonstration to the visitors. Ugh!

And I had my interview for the merit award which I applied for. I honestly don’t want to think about it. All I know is if I’m destined to get it, I will get it. If not, I won’t.

On Thursday, I got back my argumentative essay marks and I was really disappointed.I had not done as well as I wished to. I did not have really good rebuttals. I chose the topic on beauty pageants, whether it is exploitative or is it a good thing. I took back my essay home to reedit. Later on for Nursing class, I actually had to prick my finger to take my blood glucose. I had a high blood glucose. I think I should cut down rice and focus more on whole grain foods.

Friday was the best day of the week yet. I actually went to the Asian Civilisation Museum to do research for an upcoming project. I decided to tour the India gallery and do my project based on what I saw in the India gallery. And I fell in love with what I saw there. I felt like I could sit there for hours and just get lost in the beauty of the artifacts. It was really breathtaking.

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As I left the ACM, I called this student that I had tutored for Science PSLE over the holidays. And what I heard about his results left me in a state of shock. He had scored an A in all his subjects and his overall PSLE aggregate was 243. I cannot believe it man! I am truly stoked for him and I hope that he goes to a good school.

Oh, and later on in the day I visited the Affordable Art Fair at F1 pit building. I had the best time walking up and down the galleries watching pieces and pieces of paintings and sculptures. Thanks for the ticket, Mr Young!

After I got back from the art fair, I started feeling restless and sleepy. I slept through till 10.30pm only to be awoken by my mum who had just got back home. I had dinner and then began working on the re-edit of my essay. This time though I said that beauty pageants are a good thing even though I know deep down that they are not because I do not have good enough counter arguments. Hopefully things can smooth out over time.

My birthday

I am officially 17!

I am still getting used to being a year older. But I hope this transition goes smoothly.

So, I fell asleep a few minutes before midnight. I was having a throbbing headache and it was hard for me to stay up a few minutes longer

Woke up at 5.20am and checked my phone first. True enough, it was actually the 14th of November. I jumped out of bed and went about my day’s routine of making breakfast and making my bed. I remembered to thank God for giving me 17years of life.

It felt like just any normal day. We were supposed to be having soccer class that day. And we walked like twice up and down the whole campus. So tiring! 😤 but once, we reached the location, Elaine gathered the whole class and all sang “happy Birthday” for me, which I really appreciated.

Then, Elaine presented me with 2 gifts that she, PeiXian, Chengyi and Jiayu had chipped in to buy. It was these: an iPad cover with a picture of giraffe on it and a phone insert thingy in the shape of a mini zebra

We were released early from school so when I got back home, I had a little ‘me’ time to myself before I headed out to grab lunch with my secondary school friends. What I basically did during ‘me’ time was, watch a couple YouTube videos, wash my clothes and prepare a little snack for myself.

My friends showed up late, half an hour late. I was a little mad but when they showed up, I just couldn’t get myself to be mad at them. They were so sweet. We talked and talked and talked and talked straight for 3 hours. Which is not enough. Wish I had double the time. So we are already planning our next meet up.

We talked about secondary school life, poly life, prom (which was the night before) and we talked about LOVE.

We are all fools about LOVE. They kept complaining about lack of love. They really want to experience love. Which for me, is awkward. I used to daydream about love. A lot. But for now, it is not a huge priority for me. I just want to focus on school. Everything else will come second.

But as a friend, I tried to steer them away which only made their hopes more hostile. Right now, I can only support them where I feel I should support them. Then the next day, my friend went to China for a 3 week holiday. I kept pestering him to give me his flight details. Which he did. But he didn’t provide any return flight details. I kept checking hour upon hour about his flight details. He had landed safely.

There is this girl who has lunch at my mum’s restaurant everyday and we slowly became good friends. So, she actually remembered my birthday and got me a huge notebook with a few colored pens. It was so sweet of her!

I am also glad my mum did not forget my birthday. She said that she did wish me but instead she prayed for me.

I had the best birthday ever. I am so blessed 🙂

Why do I feel so philosophical?

I have been very excited this whole week for many reasons.

Firstly, my friends back in secondary school have finished their O levels successfully. I felt like I was taking O levels with them because I kept motivating and giving them harsh love so that they do not feel like O level is just another exam. It is a MAJOR exam.

Secondly, my birthday is this week (I will write about it in a separate post). It is actually on 14th Nov. I can’t believe I am turning 17 finally! I have so much to be thankful for. I have great friends and great family members who always stand by me and I don’t know how I got this lucky! It suddenly feels as though life is complete and I would not trade what I have now for anything.

Thirdly,we are slowing completing a few tests here and there. BNS write up worth 20% due this week, math quiz worth 15% complete this week, Culture and Community presentation worth 20% due this week and English presentation worth 10% will be over this week.

This week I read an article a friend of mine wrote on his blog. It was an article about dreaming big enough. In it he mentions that, if you are not working hard enough, that means your dreams are not really big. He quoted what Confucius says about shooting big: “it is okay to shoot for the moon and fall. But a lot of people don’t even shoot”. My friend mentions that many of us don’t feel the vitality to shoot for our dreams. If you are interested in reading his article, the website is: changedbythoughts.wordpress.com

I have also been thinking about Martha Graham’s “The Blessed Unrest” quote a lot too. That quote talks about how there is only one of us in all time and because there only one of us, each person is unique. It is not our business to determine how good we are at something or how it compares with other things. It is our business to be inspired by the things that inspire us because if motivation/inspiration ceases in us, what we are unique for will be lost and the world will not get to experience it. No one is ever pleased. There is only displeasure. A blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than others.

I watched the last episode of ‘Satyamev Jayate’ (the truth prevails). This show is a show that highlights the problems facing the people of India and it invites people to take a stand and try to make things better. This week’s topic was : When masculinity harms men

At the beginning of the show, the men in the audience were asked to list some qualities that men possess. Some qualities mentioned were: thoughtful, sensitivity, respectful, powerful, brave, truthful etc.

The ladies however rebutted the qualities. They said:

men are not sensitive, they are senseless instead.

They are hardly respectful to ladies outside of their house.

they are only powerful upon someone whom they have a higher ranking over. If someone has a higher ranking than them, they bow down.

There was also a discussion about what ladies look for in a man. Some replies were: we just want to be loved, men should have the ability to emote, they should help out at home as much as they can.

Obviously, I am too young to get married but I will not lie. In fact, I think that these are true. But, it would be a bonus if whoever I got married to, knew how to cook and would treat my family members as his own family because I have seen a lot of cases where in-laws are meant to be just in-laws. The relationship doesn’t go any further than that.

Also in the show, it showed that when men become too filled with anger, pride and ego, lives are lost at the expense of others. A case scenario featured on the show was: a boy was buying newspaper from the roadside stall when he actually stumbled upon another guy on a motorcycle. The father who was sitting on the pavilion instigated his son to take revenge and so he rammed and killed the guy who had stumbled over him.

Where has compassion gone? Why are we taking revenge for such small little things? Do ‘please’ and ‘sorry’ exist not these days? I am even more heartbroken for the family because the victim’s father had recently returned back home after being away for 8years in another state working to support his family.

Another scenario: there was this girl who was hit on a boy everyday when she was on her way to work. That guy had asked the girl to marry her but she kept refusing. And so, after many refusals which obviously hurt the guy’s ego, the guy’s brother and the brother’s girlfriend threw acid on the girl whom he had been wishing to marry. That acid was so powerful that it like melted her face. When I saw her, I wanted to cry because it has been too much. Everything, was disfigured.

I also loved the show because the host seeks really good Hindi, 👍. I was very impressed. A quarter of the time I was asking my mum what a particular word meant. There is Hindi and pure Hindi. For me, I studied Urdu which is kind of similar to Hindi. It has been a while since I spoke really good Urdu with someone. A lot of my friends spoke really good Urdu either because they were born in Pakistan or their roots lie in Pakistan. And it challenged me to be better and to take chances and be very unapologetic in embracing the language. Why do I miss Urdu so much? Is it because that is the only language I can read, write, speak and fully understand, besides English?

Whereas, Hindi, I can only speak and understand. But I am training myself to slowly read and write.

Well, like they say, practice makes perfect.

Slowly falling into place

Ugh, I am so stressed. So stressed that my ear keeps aching and my headache refuses to leave. It feels fine when I am asleep but once I wake up in the morning, it hurts again.

On top of that, my brother and sister are becoming spoilt brats as each day passes. When it is bedtime, the fight like cats and dogs over who will get the bolster or who will get which pillow. And whether they have brushed their teeth already and who was the first person to do so. It is as though there is a rat race every night. And it drives me crazyyy. Sometimes, I wish I could go into some mouse hole and hide there forever.

Well, my week went, stressful. As always. Just manage things however I can, watch my favorite TV drama faithfully and listen to 1989. I tried to buy a physical copy of the album but it is sold out😭. And I don’t want to buy it from the iTunes Store because the physical edition has a set of 13 Polaroids in it which iTunes will not have.

I have been watching this Hindi drama since it began airing 11 months ago and have never missed a single episode but in the last few weeks, the set where it shoots caught fire and so the drama got worse because more and more problems began cropping up in the show. Just when I wanted to give up watching the show, miraculously, the problems began to be solved.

Hmmm, November is here. And I have been looking back and reflecting between this November and last November. It feels surreal. Last November, I took my Urdu Language ‘O’ level exam on the 6th of November. Today, is the 6th of November (I am writing this advance). I am wonderstruck to see how much has changed in the last year in so many ways. And I am grateful for all the things I have.

I took my siblings to Arabic class just now and both kept talking the entire way, which had me in splits because I was not sure who to listen to? Halfway through I decided to shut them up because I wanted to talk. So, I talked to my sister about how she should give up drinking baby milk because they are heavily sweetened and can actually cause tooth decay. I told her how the bacteria would eat up her teeth because they like sweet stuff and a whole load of other things. Finally, she decided that she would never consume baby milk and fresh milk too.

I was in shock. So I had to convince her again that she could drink milk but it would have to be fresh milk because no milk in her diet would make her bones soft and she could actually break her bones easily because the calcium in milk is meant to build strong bones and teeth.

I felt sort of guilty towards the end of the conversation for 2 reasons. Firstly, while talking to my sister, I neglected my brother. Poor boy just listened to me rambling to my sister and tried to offer my sister advice as well.

Secondly, I heaped a lot of nutrition stuff on my sister which might be too complex for a 5 year old to understand. But I had no choice, I had to get her off it if not she would suffer from tooth decay sooner than later.

Well, I hope you have a good weekend!

Best week yet

School is finally kicking in and I am getting used to it again. But one thing that frustrates me these days is when I get ready for school in the morning and I see my siblings sleeping, because their holidays are slowly kicking in and right there I wish I was a child again. But no matter how much I wish, I can’t go back in time.

Homework is slowly piling up but there is not enough time to do it. I pray my five daily prayers each time asking God for help with my studies.

So on Monday, Taylor Swift’s new album, ‘1989’ came out and I am absolutely in love with it. I have never heard music from the 80’s. As for as English songs go, the most oldest songs I have heard is from the 90’s when New Kids On The Block, Spice Girls and N’Sync were in prominence. My favorite song then was from Brooks & Dunn and the song is called ‘Ain’t nothing about you’, I believe the song is from the late 90’s or early 2000’s.

Anyways, back to the album. I haven’t got the time to listen to all of the songs yet but my favorite songs apart from those that were pre-released are ‘Blank Space’, ‘Style’, ‘How You Get The Girl’ and ‘Bad Blood’. My personal favorite is ‘Blank Space’ because it sounds so sassy and it is a song that Taylor wrote about the impression that people have about her. She claims that people say she is clingy and needy when it comes to boys and she only dates them and breaks up with them to write songs for emotional revenge. I love it!

Well, life is going on as per normal. I am always lacking sleep. The most I can get is 6hrs a day which is not enough. I get up by 6.20am to pray and thereupon I don’t sleep again till late at night. Even my mum is low on sleep because now that Grandpa is no more, her responsibilities have shifted to the restaurant. I don’t see her for more than an hour a day. But I still get to see my very favorite and adorable person, my baby cousin. Now that she has got a tooth, she seems to want to eat everything she can get her hands on.image

Now that O levels are going on, I still try to Whatsapp my secondary school friends everyday. I am also convincing them to come to Ngee Ann to further their studies. And specifically, in Nursing because we really need more Nurses. I am not sure whether it is working or not because they get interested and ask lots of questions. The next step is to bring them to Ngee Ann’s open house next year. I hope they like it though. They claim that O levels is killing them but I also hope that they understand that exams are part and parcel of life.

Yesterday, was Friday and it was Halloween. I don’t celebrate Halloween because it is not allowed in Islam. But, yesterday my Uncle turned 23! I am excited for him. I don’t if I was the first one to wish him because I texted him way early in the morning. Oh, and also yesterday in class we had a surprise advance birthday party for Vanessa. It was funny how it all started.

We had just been dismissed from Netball and on the way back to class. Suddenly, Lestor and Joel claim that they urgently need to go to the toilet together. Sounds weird but it’s true. All of us and the teacher are back in class waiting for both of them to come it is taking way too long then suddenly the 2 of them walk in with a cake. It is a chocolate layered cake with white chocolate shavings on the side and it is decorated with hazelnuts. It tasted delicious.

Well today is Saturday and I am glad that I got to catch up on my sleep. I find myself longing for the weekends nowadays. I have not got enough family time lately as I did over the holidays. And I am already counting down to the next holiday.